“Comrades, fellow-Germans, fellow members of our glorious SS, we are here today to honor, yes, I say honor these former representatives of the Weimar Republic, the government who our great leader, Adolf Hitler, just defeated in the 1933 elections. Seated besides us on this dais are the former party leaders of the now-defunct Reichstadt German assembly of the Weimar Republic,” said Herman Grundig, head of Hitler’s newly formed Internal Security office for the Third Reich.

“On this glorious December evening, in the year 1933,” he continued, “I, Herman Grundig, wish to thank these men seated besides me. Helmut Bunder and Franz Koenig helped lead the Weimar assembly’s efforts in 1925 to pass the German National Gun Registration Act, then helped to pass the National Security Act of 1929. The 1929 Act required all Germans, and especially Jews, to turn in all guns or rifles they owned to the authorities. Through their efforts in the Weimar Assembly, these men helped remove all guns owned by German citizens and Jews, thereby helping us make a more secure Germany, a more peaceful Germany. They made it possible for German police and security forces to enforce the just laws of the nation without fear of attack by citizens or extremist groups who opposed these laws.”

“These men also helped influence the legislative assemblies in Austria, Poland, Hungary, Denmark, France, Italy, Russia, and Czechoslovakia to also pass gun registration and confiscation laws. As a result, all of Europe is now disarmed . . . I mean, a safer place to live for all its citizens.”

“We particularly wish to thank our Weimar comrades for disarming the Jews, for we have special plans for the Jews. Perhaps many in this audience do not know the evil history of the Jews. For a thousand years, before the Romans destroyed their temple in Jerusalem, the Jews were a fierce, stubborn tribe who fought subjugation by the Persians, Assyrians, Babylonians, then finally the Romans. They would let no nation control them. They were great tax rebels and fighters, always refusing to give up their arms to their overlord governments of the time.”

“Only in Europe, where Jews have been dispersed for over fifteen hundred years, did they no longer put up armed resistance to lawful governments. Being a hated minority, they were subjected to the just purges of practically every European government for all those years. Here in Germany, we have been leaders in these purges. But now our great leader, Adolf Hitler, will finally decide the Jewish problem for Europe, once and for all.”

“And we have these courageous Weimar Assembly leaders to thank for this. For now, all Jews are disarmed, even in the Warsaw ghetto, a hotbed of Jewish plots. They will have no means to resist our just laws against them. Also, all citizens in France, Austria, Denmark, Holland, Poland, Italy, Russia, and Czechoslovakia are now disarmed by their own governments. As a result, we will now convince these countries to agree to German demands for repatriation of lands and money taken from us by the World War I armistice agreement they forced on us. If they do not agree, we will convince them with our just might. Because they are disarmed, we will have little resistance.”

“We only have to worry about three rogue nations who will resist the German people’s will,” continued Herman Grundig. We all know these outlaw nations. First is Britain, a stubborn people who fiercely defend their peculiar thousand-year tradition of liberty that protects their citizen’s so-called “individual rights” against so-called government tyranny. They will oppose us to the end.”

“Then there is America, the bastard offshoot of Britain, with the same stubborn anti-government tradition as the British, but even worse. The Americans actually allow their citizens to own guns. Can you imagine that? That so-called “right” is even written into the Second Amendment of their despicable Bill of Rights. We understand that their courts and legislators are chipping away at this “right to bear arms,” as the American fools call it, but it will take another sixty years before their legislators finally confiscate all arms in America. So right now, America will be our most dangerous enemy.”

“Finally, right on our door-step, is Switzerland. This renegade Republic has had so-called representative democracy for over 600 years. They are a fierce people who cherish their so-called liberty, and have refused all our efforts to convince them to pass gun registration and confiscation laws. Their leader even had the nerve to tell me that every citizen in Switzerland not only has the right to own guns, but that the Swiss government actually requires every citizen to have a rifle in his home, and to practice using it. As a result, he told me that all their citizens are deadly marksmen. They claim that this law has kept the Swiss free from invasion by other countries for over 600 years.”

“Well, we will respect Switzerland’s armed citizens . . . I mean, neutrality. We will not force our views on them if they are so stupid that they cannot see that it is Germany’s destiny to rule Europe. Our generals have told me that we would have to fight every man, woman, and child in every house in every hamlet, valley, and mountain top in Switzerland if we ever invaded . . . I mean, sent our troops justly into Switzerland. Our generals have therefore wisely decided to respect Switzerland’s neutrality, as a gesture of generosity by the German people.”

“As for the rest of Europe, and especially the Jews,” Herr Grundig said, rubbing his hands together, “we will give them the great benefit of German rule for the next thousand years. And we have the great former representatives of the Weimar Republic sitting here to thank for this. Let us all raise our glasses and give a toast to these men, my SS comrades.”

And they all rose and toasted Helmut Bunder and Franz Koenig, former Assembly leaders of the “democratic” Weimar Republic, who had helped disarm the Jews and the citizens of Europe, making way for the glorious thousand-year Reich.

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One Response to “Hitler’s Thank You Dinner”

  1. Dan says:

    Upon seeing their quotes, is there really any way to misinterpret, exactly what they meant by the “right to keep and bear arms”…explicit in article II of the bill of rights? I don’t think so! None of them were at all subtle really. The general population does not gain by gun control. It is strictly a control issue, one very pointedly addressed, by our founding fathers. Their intent is impossible to misread. See for yourselves, then read what they say about government. Some of these guys were way ahead of their time…very farsighted.

    You are more insightful than the founding fathers, who framed our constitution? I do not think so.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.”

    Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil
    interference – they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The Constitution preserves the advantage of being armed which Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation where the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.”

    James Madison

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Free men have arms; slaves do not.”

    William Blackstone

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The Constitution shall never be construed… to prevent the people of the United
    States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms.”

    Samuel Adams

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Laws that forbid the carrying of arms … disarm only those who are neither
    inclined nor determined to commit crimes… Such laws make things worse for
    the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage
    than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater
    confidence than an armed man.”

    Cesare Beccaria, On Crimes and Punishment, quoted by Thomas Jefferson in
    Commonplace Book, 1774-1776

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Arms in the hands of citizens may be used at individual discretion…in private self- defense.”

    John Adams

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples’ liberty’s teeth.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.”

    James Madison

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Before all else, be armed.”

    Niccolo Machiavelli

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. Horrid mischief would ensue were the law abiding
    deprived of the use of them.”

    Thomas Paine

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation.”

    Thomas B. Reed (1886)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments by those in power than by violent and sudden
    usurpations.”

    James Madison

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to
    burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “He who regulates everything by laws, is more likely to arouse vices than reform them.”

    Spinoza

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.”

    Niccolo Machiavelli

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Today, when a concerted effort is made to obliterate this point, it cannot be repeated too often that the Constitution is a limitation on the government, not on private individuals – that it does not prescribe the conduct of private individuals, only the conduct of the government – that it is not a charter for government power, but a charter of the citizens’ protection against the government.”

    Ayn Rand

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The Constitution is the guide which I never will abandon.”

    George Washington

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The United States Constitution has proved itself the most marvelously elastic compilation of rules of government ever written.”

    Franklin D. Roosevelt

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.”

    William Pitt

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Government at its best is a necessary evil, and at its worst, an intolerant one.”

    Thomas Paine

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want,
    is strong enough to take everything you have.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “The government of the United States is and always has been a lawyer’s government.”

    Chauncey Depew

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Illegal immigration is not just a matter of interest in states along our border with Mexico. It is having an effect on local economies, schools, health care delivery, and public safety all across the country.”

    Roger Wicker

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one half the wars of the world.”

    Thomas Jefferson

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “We’ve finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don’t want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.”

    Ann Coulter